...to never leave the apartment.
You know, I'm always joking about how I never want to leave the apartment. Sometimes "forces of nature" FORCE us to seriously consider that.
The other day, Lou and I were on our way out, when what does he almost bump into face first with full force?....the most GINORMOUS spider web spanning our entire doorway from the waist up to the top. We're talking Halloween decoration sized here. And the spider was monster-sized to boot, as well.
We screamed like little girls, slammed the door, jumping up and down, running around the coffee table, trying to gather our sanity. I had to re-apply my makeup at that point from laughing so hard I was crying over our almost crapping our pants. I can't imagine the neighbors didn't think someone was being murdered from all the screaming.
How the hell does this even happen?? Within a single night, this jerk spider built a web across our whole door. It was hard to get the full angle and vast-ness that this web really was.
We've made a vow to always check for ninja spider traps when we leave now, instead of looking at our phones, or the keys, or shooing the cats trying to come with us.
It's hard to say if I ever plan on leaving again though...
7 comments:
I still wake up with night sweats...
the horror, oh the horror
Oh com'on. When we lived in Oklahoma we had to remove the spiders from the patio with a pooper scooper because they were so big. Think mammal.
No no, I don't think you're grasping just how horrifying it was to almost collide with a fully built spider web covering half of our doorway completely, plus monster spider smack in the middle. I can appreciate the fact that Oklahoma has big bugs, but this was totally unexpected. Also, you knew what you were getting into, moving to the country. haha. I didn't sign up for this!
Last night there was a spider on my head.
Many times while we're riding on the trails, we'll ride right into big spider webs like you described. But I'm not poo-pooing your terror!
Did you ever have a stink bug in your mouth?
lol...last month Lou and I were casually strolling up to the leasing office to drop off the rent check, and I walked under a tree...friggin Charlotte from Charlotte's web swung down like a ninja and I almost walked directly into ANOTHER giant "halloween decoration", like you described. awful!! Spiders drive me nuts. Too many legs. And giant meaty torsos.
omg, I'm going to throw up. Don't talk about stink bugs in your mouth. hahaha
Omg, you're too funny--swinging down like a ninja. I'm telling you Jam, you ought to write.
Well, before the stink bug in my mouth, I had a lady bug in my mouth. I thought that was bad.
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